Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! At Watkins Glen, we had
three guys in the top 10. In the points, race, the
news was very encouraging: Mark, Ryan, Jamie and Carl
are all in the top 10; Elliott is just outside in
11th; Jeff is 13th; and Jr. is 15th. I do believe we
can slide another guy or two on in there! But
realistically, time is running out: There are just
three more races until Richmond sets the Chase field!
Go, DeVine 91/2!
The start of the race was rushed up due to the
possibility of rain, meaning we were spared some of
NBC's tired prattle. NASCAR really needs to get the
races away from NBC and give them to somebody else.
Their announcing team should take the nickname The
Mean Old Coaches, because that's what they seem like.
A preacher from Motor Racing Outreach brought the
invocation Sunday. The National Anthem was performed
by Billy Joe Shaver, a country fellow whose singing
seemed to make some of the guys -- hello, Carl? -- tee
hee just a little bit. .
On Sunday, the weather in Atlanta was lovely -- a real
nice change from the unrelenting rain and smog we have
had this summer. Owing to the combination of nice
weather, good company and an extremely boring race, I
confess I did not pay much attention to what happened
at the Glen. It makes no sense that NASCAR has us
suffering through TWO of these road races while
Darlington has only one event and Rockingham has none.
And I'm getting really tired of how the race coverage
is turning into some kind of love opera to Tony
Stewart -- Which fence is Tony going to climb next?
What about Tony's new attitude? Is Tony going to pass
out when he drinks his victory Coca-Cola this week?
SHADDUP, ALREADY! There are 42 other guys out there --
what about them?
Since I cannot discuss the race this week, let's talk
instead about the movie I saw last night...
THE DUKES OF HAZZARD!
Being a 100% Southerner (both parents Southern, born
in the South), I have naturally looked forward to
seeing the remade "Dukes of Hazzard"! My old chum
Eddie worked on the filming of the movie down in
Loozyanna and said about 60 copies of the General Lee
Charger were wrecked in the process. Well, Ronnie and
I took in the movie at
Atlanta's famous Starlight Drive-In
(www.starlightdrivein.com), and we really had a big
time!
The movie Bo and Luke are weak compared to the
TV Bo and Luke -- I'm a big fan of Seann William Scott
("Stifler" from the "American Pie" movies), but he
never gets both hands around the part of Bo; and I
frankly don't see why Johnny Knoxville got the part of
Luke at all. Neither of the guys seems to attempt a
Southern accent.
But that's not true of Jessica Simpson, who really
steals the whole movie. Some people may think her
accent sounds fake, but I'll let you in on a secret:
LOTS of Southern women create their accent
deliberately to be as loony-sounding as they can,
because down here, that's a real man-catcher! Jessica
apparently knows this, because her pronouciation was
just as droopy as her shorts were tight!
There are a couple of funny scenes with pot -- could
this be part of why the TV Cooter, former US Rep. Ben
Jones, had such a hissy fit about the movie? On a
roadtrip to Atlanta, the boys visit the KMA sorority
house at "Five Points University," where they happen
upon a roomful of babes in underwear passing around
the bong. When they come back out in the hall, Bo's
hilarious attempt to not sound stoned is worth the
price of the ticket. And why were Uncle Jesse (Willie
Nelson) and the governor of Georgia laughing so hard
when they stumbled out of that smoke-filled barbeque
hut?
Oh, one more thing -- be sure and stay through the
credits. During the obligatory "outtakes" section,
there is some INCREDIBLE footage of stunt driving gone
bad. You will hardly believe the wrecks they pulled
off trying to do the stunts right!
So basically, gay NASCAR fans, this movie needs some
more boy skin to match all the flesh that Jessica is
showing, but if you're into racing and wrecking,
you'll dig it! Plus, I hadn't heard so much classic
rock since the last time I was in Daytona Beach
listening to 95.7 FM The Hog!
SUPPORT CINDY SHEEHAN -- STOP THE LIES!
If you are reading this on Wednesday, I urge you to
visit the link below and find out about peace vigils
in your area tonight to support Cindy Sheehan. Her son
Casey is among the countless thousands of Americans
and other human beings whose lives Bush has thrown
away like rubbish, laughing and joking all the while.
This man Bush is driving our country into bankruptcy
while his oil buddies rob us blind. Get on board with
Howard Dean and the Democrats now to elect a
Democratic majority in 2006 to start impeachment
proceedings! Stop Bush's rampage of murder! Find a
vigil in your area by visiting http://www.moveon.org/
That's it for this week, friends. See you in Motown!
Let's all meet up down at the Track Bar!
Love,
Betty Jack DeVine
E ME at Bettyjack@gaytona.com
