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Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Congratulations to Sunday's winner, the DeVine 9 1/2's own Ryan Newman! It was a big week for our team, with Ryan, Dale Jr. and Mark Martin all in the top 10. Ryan was Top Dawgy this week, jumping up an incredible SEVEN positions to land at 3rd place. Also moving up were Jamie McMurray (+2), Baby E (+2) and Mikey Waltrip (+1). Heading south were Dave Blaney (-1), Kasey Khane (-2), Elliott Sadler (-3), Carl Edwards (-1) and Mark (-1). Jeff Gordon, Brian Vickers and Casey Mears stayed put.

You know one way I score the entertainment value of the weekend's race? When the topic "jumps the fence" to people who ordinarily couldn't care less about NASCAR, or maybe even think the actively dislike it. That's what happened after Sunday's wild version of "Car Wars." And in spite of their tut-tutting in public, I imagine that the people at NASCAR were privately tee-heeing and going nuts about all the publicity!

The preacher on Sunday brought a fine prayer, remembering all our military personnel and the victims of the hurricane. How horribly they are all being treated by this disaster of a president! How much longer can the Republicans keep him propped up? He is running the country Absolutly into the ground! Bill Burkheimer, a NASCAR official from Mooresville, N.C, sang the National Anthem quite emotionally. On the front row were Tony Stewart and Jeff.

Let's zero in on those events that got the most water-cooler time:

At lap 3, that cute Scott Riggs got loose in turn 2 and moved up on Kurt Busch, whose #97 Ford hit the wall, tearing up the front end. When Kurt got the car parked behind the wall, he took off stomping down to the #10 car's pit box, trailing a posse of reporters and officials. While the crowd hooted with excitement, Kurt climbed up on the box and had words with Scotty's crew chief, Rodney Childers. No fists flew, and ultimately NASCAR levied no fine against the reigning Cup champ, who last year used this race as the launching pad for his successful Cup campaign.

OK, fans, here's Round 2: At lap 165, Kurt's bro Kyle got into the back of the #9 and sent Kasey smashing tail-first into the wall so hard that the whole car came up off the ground. I mean it was a hard hit. But our boy Kasey, showing that pretty things can also be sharp, came back under the yellow and smashed his wrecked racer right into the big nose of Kyle's car. I hate to see a nice guy get picked on and am sure kute Kasey was outdone with Gomer Pyle, I mean with Kyle. NASCAR penalty: Kasey was found guilty of Section 12-4-A (actions detrimental to stock car racing) and fined $25,000, 25 driver points, and 25 owner points from Ray Evernham.

But wait! There's more! You also get -- At lap 191, Mikey spun out Robby Gordon. Later, Mikey said Robby had pushed him up the track and he was just getting back down on his line. Anyway, under caution, Robby ran out on the track amongst the racecars and threw his helmet at Mikey's window net! The other racers all had to swerve to avoid running over him! I mean, what was he thinking? I don't care how mad you are, getting run over by a NASCAR is just going to make things worse!

Then, in his interviews, Robby let a "shit" fly. Interestingly, NASCAR's own lap-by-lap online account questioned, "where was the 7-second delay on TNT's telecast?" But according to Speed's Dave DeSpain on "Inside Nextel Cup," that delay is quite expensive and drives up production costs and so is not used on TNT, whose broadcasts are only on cable and so not subject to the same rules as broadcast anyway. Now you know the rest of the story, NASCAR.com!

Also on "Inside," Mikey said Robby had told him he was mad because of something Mikey had said about him on the show the week before. But then Mikey said he would stop talking about it so he wouldn't make Robby even madder! I mean, do these guy seem like girls fighting on the schoolbus, or what? NASCAR penalty: Robby was fined $25,000 for trying to hit Mikey's car and throwing his helmet, another $10,000 for cussing on the TV, 25 driver points, and 25 owner points from James Smith. Robby was put on probation until the end of the year. Mikey was fined $10,000 and 25 driver points for making an "inappropriate gesture" on TV.

(Also fined this week was Brian Vickers (25 driver points, 25 owner points from Mary Hendricks) because his car did not satisfy the rules. Crew Chief Lance McGrew was fined $25,000 and put on probation for the rest of the year.)

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That's it for this week, friends. See you at Dover! Let's all meet up down at the Track Bar!