"THIS IS BETTY JACK DEVINE, AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE:"
Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Honey, if Sunday's race was a movie, we would have to call it "Crazy in Alabama!" I mean, 54 lead changes among 23 drivers, and a finish where the world got to see the fans show out by pelting the winner with garbage! So much drama! But really, it's a wonder they didn't tear the place down! Girl, if you set out to start a big riot, you couldn't THINK of anything better than calling Jeff Gordon the winner over Baby E in a close race at Talladega!
Anyway, though, congrats to Jeffy and all our DeVine 9 1/2 fantasy team members. We had five guys in the top 10 on Sunday and now have eight of the top dudes in points. Jamie climbed to 11th place after a week that saw a delayed penalty knock him from 13th to 14th. More on that in a sec.
A Motor Racing Outreach minister brought the invocation on Sunday; the National Anthem was sung by country singer Mark Wills. The flyover was by a Stealth bomber -- that plane gives me nightmares just to look at it. While we waited for the start, FOX showed a funny piece in which sportsboy Chris Meyers goes on a tour of the infield to meet some of the 20,000 folks partying up in there. He plays cards with some rednecks while drinking mai-tais -- girl!! -- then is up on a trailer offering somebody beads to flash, and who should pull up his shirt and show his tits but Tom Spain, the Racing Sailor we met at Atlanta Motor Speedway! Well, at least I think that was Tom -- Dixie does too, and she got to know her some Tom, honey, oh yeah!
Ricky Rudd was on the pole, but he never led a lap. All our guys led a lap on Sunday except Kasey Kahne and Matt Kenseth. Our guys figured big all day; here are a few obsevations from the notes I tried to write -- Ricky Craven brought out the first caution. At lap 22, the #17 of Matt Kenseth went for a wild spin. It set off a "mini-big-one" in which lots of guys spun, got straightened out, stayed off the walls, and went on their way. The #38 needed some work on his nose after contact with the #9. Jr. took on four tires and quickly was exerting his dominance. There was some cute drafting with the #8, #24 and #15.
Next thing we know, Jamie is rubbing up on the tire of Jimmie Johnson, and soon enough, JJ's got a flat! We said, to ourselves, "Is Jamie going 'BAD?'" Then the #17 car broke and was out for the day. Ward Burton's car blew up. The big wreck everybody was waiting for happened on lap 84 when Tony Stewart got into Kurt Busch. It was funny, because pretty much everyone who talked about it later agreed that Tony did it on purpose! Ten cars were in this crash. NASCAR told Tony to watch it.
At lap 101, Jamie passed Jr. for the lead, but Jr. took it back before they got to the stripe, so it didn't count. I bet Jr. was just "playing" with Jamie. The wreck of Kerry Earnhardt at lap 114 brought out the 7th caution. Then, after Jamie had been rubbing up on him, Brian Vickers cut a tire! By now, we were asking whether Jamie was going from golden lap to super-bad?!!
With 29 to go, the #15 pushed the #8 passed the #48 for the lead. Soon though, Mark Martin was hard on the butt of the #8 in that Viagra car! Mark was celebrating his 575th Cup start on Sunday -- go Mark! There was yet another Caution Debris at lap 167 -- Janet Smith said she was sure it was a squirrel on the racetrack. "Poor squirrel," she said. We had a restart with 17 to go.
Tony pushed Jamie up out of the draft, but Jamie wasn't having that! Then Jimmie Johnson, no doubt acting on behalf of many drivers and fans, spun out Tony. At this restart, Jr. ran down Kevin Harvick for the lead. Jeff was either chasing or passing Jr. when Jeff's studboy protege Brian Vickers ("conveniently?") spun out behind him, bringing out the 11th and final caution flag. NASCAR said Jeff had passed Jr. just before the field was frozen. At the moment, it seemed to us that Jr. was in the lead, but the replays showed Jeff taking it -- a point that the #8 car's crew chief Tony Eury Jr. later acknowledged. But at the time, Jr. said he thought he was in front "by a mile," and the red-clad fans of Talladega agreed, roaring their boos when Jeff was posted the leader, then pelting the track with trash.
The resulting finish under yellow drove the crowd crazy. While everyone wants to finish under green, we know that late-race restarts can be very dangerous at superspeedways, so I say NASCAR probably did right. But ruling the race to Jeff over Jr. in Talladega? Shoot, honey, I say we're lucky those people did not fight all night long and turn that superspeedway into a big, smoking pit!
MR. MCMURRAY'S WILD WEEK
It was a crazy week for Jamie -- even before he got to Talladega! NASCAR fined him 25 driver points and fined his car-owner Chip Ganassi 25 owner points and put crew chief Donnie Wingo on probation until Dec. 31, all on account of that non-regulation back window he used at Bristol. Co-owner Felix Sabates had a big-time cussing fit about NASCAR's ruling: Thatsracin.com made me click through about three levels to get to the cusswords -- rightly frightened, as I'm sure they are, of being shut down by the government on account of the cusswords. Felix called the ruling "pure, unadulterated bullshit... well, big fucking deal... the damn season was over... that is bullshit...this is just sorry-ass management, sorry management." (To maintain minimum track speed, I omitted the parts where he was not cussing.)
WELCOME, SHOW ME TICKETS!
This week we welcome a new advertiser, ShowMeTickets.com. Click on the left at the above left to view their excellent selection of primo tickets to NASCAR races, the summer's hottest concerts and much more! Welcome aboard, y'all! And track pals, as always, thanks for visiting and patronizing our advertisers.
That's it for this week, racing buds and babes! Thanks for stopping by the trailer, and especially for showing me your tits (hey, Tom!)! See you next weekend for the big race in Cali -- meanwhile, let's all meet up down at the Track Bar!
Love,
Betty Jack DeVine
E ME at Bettyjack@bellsouth.net
