"THIS IS BETTY JACK DEVINE, AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE:"
Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Sunday was another big day for Jimmie Johnson as he picked up his third win of the season (and his second this year at Pocono) and watched teammate Jeff Gordon inherit 2nd place from the still-hurting Jr. Poor June Bug is trying so hard, but he just doesn't feel good, I think. By now he's figured out that the in-car button marked "morphine" is just a low-down trick to get him behind the wheel, and he's not happy about it. Interestingly, Jr. limped on off to this trailer on Sunday soon after he climbed out, instead of hanging around being dude-like with his crew. We sure hope you get to feeling better soon, Jr.!
This week at Pocono we had five guys in the top 10. Especially speedy were Mark Martin (who climbed from 21st to 2nd) and Kasey Kahne (who was 3rd after starting 20th). Mark picked up two points positions, along with Elliott and Ryan and Kasey. Jeff moved up one (to 2nd!) as did Matt. Jr. lost one spot, as did Tony, Kurt, Kevin and Mikey. Jamie lost two! Yikes!
Only six races are left before we enter the crazy, experimental funhouse under construction that IS the chase for the championship. At that point, you'll recall, the field is reset and only the top 10 cars (or the top 10 and any others within 400 points of the leader) will be eligible for the championship. Now it's time to get real: No one is going to get in under the 400-point rule, because right now only the 2nd and 3rd place drivers are that close to Jimmie! That means that whoever the top 10 turns out to be after the Richmond race is, that's it.
Right now we have eight guys eligible, but Kasey, Mark, Mikey and Jamie would all be left out! Rats! Interestingly, of NASCAR's full field of 76 drivers listed with points, everyone below 34 has already been mathematically eliminated -- meaning, I suppose, that they could not win even if the leaders were all kidnapped by aliens and sent off to perform like apes in the fantastic rocket-car speedways of far-flung galaxies. I'm still wondering how many of these sponsors are going to keep writing checks to have their names on cars that cannot win the championship!
Friends, in this week's column, I cannot offer you the minutely detailed lap-by-lap that is my stock-in-trade, as I experienced the race while racing myself -- yes, racing along the Interstate back from my native South Crazyland, where I had paid a call on Mother DeVine and passed a pleasant weekend in dear, demented Lawsymee County. It was lovely to be again with the dear congregants of the Old Landmark United Methodist Church -- although I could have done without the man shouting battily at me in the parking lot because of my Kerry/Edwards sticker! Really, sir! Anyway, I caught most of it on the radio, and looked at the last third at the race on the big TV at the wonderful Euclid Ave. Yacht Club in Atlanta.
Going into the weekend, you could not help but wonder if we were in for a repeat of the spring race at Pocono, which ended under caution after 57 caution laps and was certainly a low moment of the season thus far. This race was better than that, and we had a green flag finish, but Jimmie Johnson still won. At least his team didn't have cause to subject us to their Judge Ito-like wrangling over the lap scoring, like last time.
In the day's most major wreck, Tony went into the wall then rolled, terrifyingly, backwards across the track as traffic barreled on. This was definitely scary to watch. Later, Kasey, whose car got damaged during that event, blamed the krash on Kurt, whom he said had hit his #9 car earlier. But later Kasey apologized and said the #20 wreck was not his fault. "I need to control myself," Kasey said of his excited remarks. Doll, if I was with you, you'd have to try and control BOTH of us!
On Motor Racing Network Radio, I heard Jeff, in an interview, respond to a question about how he and Jimmie would handle competing as teammates in the chase for the championship. He said that if they were 1 and 2, they would both go for it. But if one guy was a lot further up than the other, the back guy would help the other guy in a variety of ways -- though certainly not by blocking Jeff assured the radio audience. Well honey, when I saw how their other teammate Brian Vickers wrecked Bobby Labonte and knocked him from 7th to 9th in points, I got me an idea of how some of these Hendrick drivers will be giving each other a hand in these increasingly important races!
LET'S DO IT IN THAT!
Everyone who follows the history of cars in entertainment cherishes the wonderful Dodge Charger. It was the star of "The Dukes of Hazard" -- the one show about the South that is 100% accurate -- and it was in "Bullitt," in that great car chase through the streets of San Francisco. Well, I heard tonight on the "NASCAR Minute" on Eagle 106.7, "Your Racin Station," that Dodge is going to quit making Intrepids and next year is going to revive and race the Charger! Can you dig it? I'm ready to climb into a big old scary black, sweaty Charger with Dodge boys Jamie and Kasey and Ryan and go for a big ole ride, I'm telling you! Ooh, I'm forgetting myself! It's this heat, y'all.
That's it for this week, friends. Get on board with Kerry/Edwards! Order you some bumperstickers and give them to your friends! I want you to know that dear Mother DeVine even has one on her sedan, way over in Lawsymee County! Get on board! GO KERRY/EDWARDS!
Have a great week friends -- I'll see you next Sunday at the Brickyard! Let's all meet up down at the Track Bar!
Love,
Betty Jack DeVine
E ME at Bettyjack@bellsouth.net
