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"THIS IS BETTY JACK DEVINE, AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE:"

Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Congratulations to the DeVine 91/2's own Kurt Busch, whose win on Sunday at Loudon gave him a good start on the Chase for the Championship. Our guys put in a great showing, pulling down NINE of the top 10 spots. The win gave Kurt a 2004 sweep of the track -- very impressive! -- and ties him with Jr. for the lead in points! This week, Kurt was the team's top doggy, picking up five spots. Tony took a big hit, losing four; Jeff lost two. Jr. gained two; Matt, Mark, Ryan and Kevin picked up one. Elliott, Jamie, Kasey, and Mikey held their taters.

We are now "through the looking-glass" and into the Chase, when the last 10 races will be scored as never before in the history of Cup. Owing to this, we have changed our DeVine 01/2 team scoreboard a tad. Above, you will see how our eight mighty, mighty race-monkeys are doing in the Chase, as well as how our four runners-up are doing in the Erection for 11th. I think it was very smart of NASCAR to announce that the 11th place guy will get a big bundle of bucks and will get to walk across the stage at the Waldorf. I was already hating it that the top 10, and thus the banquet honorees, were already determined so far before season's end. It's good to give the other guys something to run after.

Speaking of the new look of our scoreboard, check out that superscript "th" on 11th, above. Gee, computers were incapable of producing a superscript at the time Dixie loaded the site, which was this morning! I cannot believe my own site is scandalized by such an obvious forgery! I'm launching a full investigation.

Fresh from destroying the beloved Panhandle of Florida and Alabama, Hurricane Ivan washed out qualifying and practice at Loudon. Again this week, our hearts go out to everyone suffering from these storms. What's going on here? Is it just me, or are you also starting to wonder whether "Somebody" hates the "Red" states? Hey, I'm just saying..

Bishop Michael Coty, a Roman Catholic, brought the invocation. Denise Doucette sang the National Anthem. You may remember her from such previous singing engagements as... other NASCAR races! According to her Web site, which includes praise from the personnel of no less that 12 Councils on Aging, Denise "has performed at the Milano Senior Center many times because people keep asking for her." And no wonder! Her rendition Sunday was lovely, and she even held her note when the war planes roared overhead, just ahead of schedule.

Without qualifying to set the field, the boys lined up by points. Jeff Gordon was on the pole and led until Tony took the lead at lap 20. The caution came out at lap 17, when Biffle spun Robby Gordon. Uh oh, "Biffle Got 'Em!" Jeff took the lead back from Tony at lap 28. At lap 35, there was a competition caution to allow for car adjustments, as the crews had not had their regular prep time on the track.

At lap 64, it was time for some "Street Justice" as Robby Gordon used his Cingular car for revenge on Biffle. But as such things so often work out, those getting the worst of it were not the real perpetrators. ("Hello? Iraq? It seems there's been something of a mistake. ..") The revenge wreck that Biffle caused caught up Chase contenders Tony and Jeremy. The #20 went immediately behind the wall with a busted radiator.

Tony sat in the car, furious with his net up. The only bit of laughter from this sorry affair was when one of the crewmen bent over and showed more crack than you'd see on the ATL's Metropolitan Parkway! During an interview, the finished-for-the-day Jeremy blamed his wreck on the #31/#16 feud. NASCAR held Robby Gordon for two laps as a penalty, but that seemed like a puny punishment for taking out two Chase cars. R. Gordon's case was not helped by the tape of his radio conversation right after "Biffle Got 'Em," in which he said, "I'm gonna get him."

At lap 103 there was a caution as Scott Wimmer hit the wall -- with a little help from the #43 car, maybe? Tony Stewart was back out at lap 112 -- only to be black-flagged off the track for going too slow at lap 132. There were various leaders through here: the gorgeous and delicate Kasey Kahne; the manly, beefy Elliott Sadler. At lap 135, Kurt Busch took over. Jamie led some; go Jamie! Jamie looked like he might have the stuff to win, but he locked up his wheels and flat-spotted one of his tires during a pit stop, which slowed him down in the crucial last laps. At lap 264, Ryan blew up. We had a late-race restart after a Caution Debris at lap 275. Kurt, the leader, stayed out and won. Kurt seemed mighty happy, and he should be!

DAN'S THE MAN!

A quick word about what's been happening at CBS. Here's what I believe: The Bush campaign itself put out the "forged" documents. Dan Rather knew this. He ran them precisely because he knew they were fakes, and he knew where they came from. He continued to profess his belief in them to keep the story hot. Now that he's made what the Brits would call "a humiliating climb-down," he's going to reveal what he knew all along: The papers came from the Republicans.

Over the weekend, it was revealed that the original "de-bunker" of the papers was an Atlantan affiliated with the Southeastern Legal Foundation, an extremely conservative, anti-gay group of activist lawyers. How do you suppose this guy was able to analyze all the papers and have his carefully developed objections up on the Web just 4 hours after Dan broke the story? It's because, I believe, he had them all along and was a part of the overall plan. Stay tuned, friends, and "catch a-holt of the bed-stead" as Dan famously said on election night 2000. This story ain't over yet. And be sure and check out Michael Moore's latest letter to Democratic voters nationwide. Buck up, kids! We're running against a criminal enterprise folks -- nobody said it would be easy or pretty, but we're going to get it done! http://michaelmoore.com/words/message/

That's it for this week friends! See you Sunday at Dover -- let's all meet up down at the Track Bar!