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"THIS IS BETTY JACK DEVINE, AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE:"

Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Congratulations to the DeVine 91/2's own Elliott Sadler, who won a terrific victory Sunday at California. NASCAR served up quite a show Sunday for the inaugural running of the Labor Day event at California, which was awarded it after disappointing ticket sales continued at the historic track at Darlington. I'm sure the poor economy in South Crazyland is what caused this -- I blame Bush.

It was an amazing day for our team: Our guys held the one, two, three, four and five spots at the checkered flag. We've now got NINE guys in the top 10 in points. Jeff, Jr., Tony, Matt and Elliott have all now clinched a place in the Chase for the Championship. Kurt, Ryan, Kasey and Mark are all in at this point by being in the top 10 -- what a great turn-around for Mark! Jamie is within striking distance, in 11th place and just 49 points shy of getting in under the 400 points rule. Kevin, in 15th place, came just one position from being mathematically eliminated, as has already happened to Mikey. So the pressure is really bearing down on the guys as they head into Richmond. Jamie, we would LUV to see your "tight, young rear end" (as Mikey says) get into the Big Show!

The Rev. Jeremy Ballaweg offered the invocation on Sunday. The National Anthem was by Brian McKnight, who shaped a tuneful version. Richard Petty and another man gave the start.

Brian Wreckers was on the pole and led lots of early laps. The big story of the day involved papers and trash and such flying around in the California breeze! There were several cautions related to debris, and at one point they even brought out that little golf-cart looking Snuffleuficus-type of contraption we call Sucky to try and police the area! We were first introduced to those during the Atlanta Olympics, and we've been a fan ever since!

J.J. Yeley took a real hard hit when he went into the wall, then rolled down and up the track and got collected by Brendan Gaughan, who blamed it on rookie dumbness. There was a caution when Carl Edwards got caught smoking. Derrick Cope continued his wrecking ways by hitting the wall and catching on fire. Jimmie Johnson, who doesn't even need to win, got into the back of Kurt Bush, but Kurt did some of that incredible Shriner-type driving that makes us love NASCAR so much, and saved it! Yeah, Kurt! After 209 laps, Jeff was done for the day -- too bad, but he's in the Chase anyway, and his trouble helps lower the ceiling for letting in some other drivers. Actually, the day dropped Jeff from first to second place.

There was some great racing as Elliott, Mark and Kasey all battled up front. We had great fantasies about the beefy country hunk with the candy, the slim youth in the red Dodge, and the hot daddy with his pockets full of Viagra! "The 6 is going to beat the 9 off!" the announcer said excitedly -- about leaving pit lane, of course. With 17 to go, Jr. and Kenny Schrader were involved in a crash. There was a restart with 10 to go, bad news for Mark, whose car did better on long runs. Elliott was really cute in Victory Lane!

HAIR BY BONERLAND!

Dixie and I this summer got totally hooked on the WB's "Summerland," which we immediately renamed to "Bonerland," because the guys on the show all seem in need of frequent satisfaction! The dudes all worked especially cute hairstyles, like with their hair almost down in their eyes. We were delighted on Sunday to see Elliott and Jr. both working that look -- and both with great success. If you want to see an example of this hair style, go check out the Google images of Bonerland stars Jesse McCartney or Ryan Kwanten

JAMIE WATCH!

Jamie is the star of a cute new commercial that I first saw on the Busch race Saturday. In it, Jamie is the garage boss and he's got that hottie teammate of his, Reed Sorenson, down on his knees working some nuts. The advertisement is for Discount Tires and it's great seeing a new company make such a splashy debut.. BTW: Reed is from The ATL and graduated in May 2004 from Woodward Academy which is a prestige private high school here. You can watch him now in the ARCA and Busch races and he's an awesome driver as well.