Welcome, gay Nascar fans! Well it was a really exciting weekend down at the Texas Motor Speedway! Saturday's Busch race was action-packed, and honey I mean to say that on Sunday, our DeVine 91/2 just Absolutly showed out! We had SEVEN boys in the top 10 when the checkers flew! .

FLYING RYAN SAILS TO VICTORY!

Our e-pal Stevelin, who looks at www.Gaytona.com all the way up in New Jersey, is a big fan of the big fellow in the #12 Dodge, so we know he must be happy at Ryan Newman's exciting victory on Sunday! DeVine 91/2 guys were pushing their way up front -- in the second half, Matt and Jeff swapped the lead, then Ryan muscled in for a long run. Jarret (yikes!) led for a lap, Ryan and Jr. duked it out until Ryan took it back for good at 324. As he opened up what turned out to be a 3.4 second lead, the real race was between Jr. and Jeff. These boys were fighting tooth and nail for 2nd, with Jr. just nosing out a rough-driving (but still smooth) Jeff at the stripe.

Congratulations to our guys! Seven out of 10? Honey, I'm fixing to go and place me some Internet sportsbook action for the big T this Sunday!

JEFF'S TIRED OF WAITING!

For proof, you didn't even have to wait until the last-laps duel with Jr. -- Jeff was second to Matt in the #17 when they were rolling up to the yellow flag at about 153. Matt let a couple of guys get their lap back, and Gordon passed him and thought he had the lead! Well, Nascar set him straight, though that was controversial, just like them taking Tony Stewart's car away for having inspection issues!

A VISITOR'S QUESTION--

One of our many visitors here at Gaytona.com asked me this: "Betty Jack, often on the Fox broadcast, I have heard the announcers call for a report from 'Two-Dick Bergen.' Yet the man they show looks as normal as you or I. What do you know of this Two-Dick Bergen?"

Dear reader, although I love the way your mind works, what you are hearing is the announcer's "toss" to a reporter, in this case "to Dick Bergen," editor of Speedway Illustrated, and a Fox Sunday reporter. Yes, I love the way your mind works...

LISTEN, HONEY...

I told y'all last week that I'd been entertaining all these enormously colorful children from Chicago. Well one of them is the noted makeup artist Randy Wilder, whose kooky observations always demand that I keep a notebook handy!

One night amidst a discussion of the hideous dissolving situation in which we find ourselves courtesy of the Devilhead Bush, I told him how Susan Sarandon's mother had come out and bashed Susan and said she loved Bush,gag, on and on.

Well Randy just snapped to and said "Honey, if I was Susan Sarandon, honey, I would go to the media and I would say, "HONEY! MY MOTHER HAS DONE WANDERED OFF AND LICKED AT THE FACE OF THE DEVIL, HONEY!!!"

And so she has. And so she has...

Join me again this week in protesting, hollering, arguing and praying to stop this awful war.

And raise your cocktail with me Sunday when we take that wild ride around Talladega!