Welcome, gay Nascar fans! Well this was sure enough a wild weekend down in Talladega! On Sunday, we were still in the kitchen, getting our bar things and what-not set up, you know, when there was a hella big wreck on lap 4 -- turned out to be the biggest wreck in Talladega history, with 27 cars involved.

It all got started when last week's winner Ryan Newman, of our own DeVine 91/2, cut a rear tire and went slamming into the wall, setting off a massive pile-up. Ryan's tire came off and went shooting over the fence --"look out, all y'all in that campground over there!" Ryan's #12 was one of 4 cars whose day was finished, and he was way bitchy to Jeanie Zelasco when she kind of whined,"Are you doing OK?" as he left the infield care center."I could be doing better, don't you think?" Ryan snapped, and looked like he just wanted to cry! Poor dude! And after his big win at Texas.

At 172, Dale Jr. passed Jimmie Johnson for the lead, and those guys just wrestled for it back and forth until Ward Burton took over for 4 laps, then Jr. got on top again, then Matt Kenseth. Then Jr. got underneath Matt and passed him for the lead, but in doing so went below the yellow line -- a no-no at Talladega. However, Nascar ruled Jr. had been"forced" down, a story that foxy Kevin Harvick backed up by saying he was pushing Jr. and knew he wasn't doing any more than Jr. would have been doing in his spot.

Hung out to dry, Jimmie fell back and soon enough spun out. He was quite the little brat in interviews afterward, too. (Leigh Kirkland, you better teach that boy some manners!) The best tantrum was between Kurt Busch and Tony Stewart -- they were promenading through the pits with their respective posses just bitching at each other like crazy street queens! Kurt even shot water from his drink bottle over in Tony's direction! Girls! Girls!!

Also this week:

GOOGLE ME THIS, BATMAN!

Friends, your love and constant attention have moved our little Web site up from page 3 to page 1, yes I said ONE on Google results for the search"gay Nascar." Now ain't that something? Thanks to all you visitors who join me in pulling for our little fantasy team!

TRACK YACK SHOUT-OUT!

A special hello this week to HelenB, who looks at www.Gaytona.com up in the heart of racing country, Charlotte, N.C.! Helen's brother Harris and I were college pals -- I haven't seen Helen since she was a little girl and was delighted to learn she is a major race fan and that she had stopped by our little Imaginary Speedway! Have a big time in Martinsville, darlin, you hear?

MAMA'S BOY WAS RIGHT AFTER ALL!

And of course you regular readers know when I say"Mama's boy" I mean the favorite of my own mama, Mother DeVine. Oh, how she loves Jeff Gordon! After I wrote last week that Jeff's attempted pass of Matt Kenseth under caution at Texas had been reversed, she reminded me impatiently that in fact Nascar President Mike Helton later said Nascar had made a mistake! I certainly do hope Jeff appreciates your tremendous devotion, Mother DeVine!

LIKE OUR NEW LOOK?

This week we're introducing our most excellent new site art, courtesy of that most excellent artist, ARGE! Isn't it great? Former Atlantan ARGE, who follows racing down in Venice, Fla., these days, is going to be sending us pictures from time to time, including some driver cartoons! Check out other ARGE art at my ARGE-A-TORIUM!.

INTRODUCING CAUTION DEBRIS!

I've been a tad under the weather with the pollen and all, and decided to treat myself to a bottle of Crown Royal this past weekend. Honey, I just cannot say enough good stuff about that good, good stuff! Cherrelle and I were tipping it up pretty good on Sunday -- she's been poorly too, you know -- and we did get so silly! She just loved my idea for a racing drag queen named Caution DeBris! That made me want to think of more good drag names based on racing terms! Friends, can you think of some? Write and let me know!

A REAL HERO WEIGHS IN

Please follow this link over to the Nation and read what Senator George McGovern -- who was a brave bomber pilot in World War II and later helped end the Vietnam War -- has to say about the present horrible calamity. You'll be so glad you did --

Anyway, it was a great week in Talladega, and now it's on to that big old crazy paperclip of a track in Martinsville!

I'll see y'all at the racetrack!