Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Rulin' Ryan rolled to his fifth victory of the season on Sunday, stretching his fuel for 52 laps but still saving back enough for a billowing burnout! Friends, I predicted it here weeks ago: Ryan Newman was becoming the new heart and soul of NASCAR. Something about that boy really sings! Of course we love our Winston Cup points leader, Matt Kenseth, but bless his heart, his workman-like racing just does not have the lionhearted nobility of Ryan's victories. If NASCAR was Miss America, and this was pageant week, I'd put all my chips on Ryan. It's not, of course, and we're excited for Matt -- but the track's best stories this year have been All About Ryan!

Of course, Ryan's victory was overshadowed in the media by Jimmy Spencer's alleged assault on Kurt Bush. "Newman Wins Race, And Rivals Have Fight," the New York Times reported. More on that follows...

This week's prayer was very respectful and non-political, which we appreciated. Serving the National Anthem was none other than Miss LeeAnn Rimes. I must say that LeeAnn did a lot of the kind of vocal ornamentation that I call "licking" during her rendition. I think she was getting the signal to stretch it for a long, long time; but even so, she finished before the planes arrived. Wouldn't that be the meanest thing to do to a singer -- plot it out where they had no chance of finishing with the planes, but they still had to really, really twirl it out? Ten minutes into the song, and they're still trying to stretch it!

It was not a good day for Jamie; in lap 15, he lost a right front and tasted the wall. It was a testament to his skills and nerves of steel that he saved the racecar. Still, it was behind the wall for Jamie, and when he came back, he was 53 laps down.

Jimmie Johnson led way too many laps -- the most of the day, actually -- and we cheered when Kevin Harvick ran by him on the outside to take the lead at lap 136 (while NBC was on break) and held it until 147. It was his second time on top, having led 136-147. Speaking of Kevin, NBC introduced his pit crew on Sunday, and child some of those boys were sho nuff hot!

This week we had five boys of the top ten (one-two-three) and we're still holding down seven of the top 10 spots in points. Go, DeVine 91/2!

LARD-ASS WALES ON LITTLE DUDE

Imagine sitting in your car, out of gas with your window down, when someone twice your size runs up to the window and starts to beat you bloody, and you can't even get away. That is what Jimmy Spencer is alleged to have done to Kurt Busch after the race Sunday. Kurt's car ran out of gas near Spencer's hauler, and Spencer spun him, then leaned into the car window and beat Kurt up. Kurt was afraid the attack had broken his nose, which he had only recently had operated on. It could take months for his face to be right again, I read.

The press picked up on how these three had tangled on at least three previous occasions. And after one dust-up, Kurt made some choice comments about how Spencer was "a dinosaur" who couldn't even be "a has-been," because he was "a never-was."

Y'all, we love to see our boys act out on the track, but when it gets down to a hulking guy attacking a skinny dude seated in a non-running car, I am appalled. Spencer should be suspended for way more than one week, and Kurt should not be on probation at all. I'm calling on NASCAR to immediately lift Kurt's probation: He did nothing wrong and should not be punished. If Spencer goes wild like that one more time, he should be busted back to Saturday nights at the local dirt track, where he can drive the Krispy Kreme car -- for doughnuts.

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT?

Last week's big blackout did not reach Dixieland, but all y'all fans in the Northeast were certainly on our minds. NBC reported that Kevin Harvick was doing an appearance at an auto showroom in Michigan when the blackout hit. But they just switched on the lights on those showroom Monte Carlos and kept the autograph party going! That's the spirit, Kevin!

ALL NIGHT LONG!

This Saturday night, we're looking forward to that wacky Bristol night race! I've seen online polls where they ask folks what race they'd most like to see, and Bristol under the lights wins by a fast lap. With Spencer benched, will Kurt repeat his win from last year? Let's all get together at the Track Bar and find out!