Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! This has been an exciting week for me, what with that lovely article in the Advocate bringing so many new folks up to the door of our little trackside trailer-home! I'll tell you more about all that later -- but first, let's dish about the Michigan race!

It was another big week for our DeVine 91/2! Following up on last week at Pocono, where the members of our little fantasy team held down ALL FIVE TOP SPOTS, we won with Kurt Busch at Michigan, and had three other guys in the top five! Work it, DeVine 91/2 !!!

Some sort of military glee club performed "God Bless the USA" this week, and oh my dears did they ever put a Broadway or "Showgirls" spin on it. If you are from the South, did you ever hear someone say that a queeny boy acted like "he should be in the Furman University glee club?" Well, it's just a saying, but glee clubs are so entertaining!

Also interesting, pre-race: A Baptist preacher said the prayer and called the president by name -- and unlike in one previous week, nobody hooted and hollered. Now, you could argue that the fans at Michigan are just better brought up than to hoot and holler during a prayer, or you could argue that more NASCAR fans are catching on to the bunch of lying creeps who are running the country into the ground! I'd like to think both, actually.

Once the race got underway, it didn't take Steve Park long to set off the first wreck, sliding up into Schrader and Rudd. Schrader, whose been having a rough time of it, declined to blame Park for the wreck. Kenny Schrader = Class Act. But the FOX announcers weren't so kind, wondering loudly why anyone was trying to go three-wide in the 2nd lap. A visitor wrote in this week that Park needs to be on the 91/2 team, but y'all it concerns me that he wrecks out so much!

Shortly after that restart, we saw some really terrific racing with our guys all up front! Stewart was in the lead, and the 24, 12 and 97 cars were gunning for him like it was the last lap, with the 15 bringing up the back of that pack. Maybe it was the liquor talking, but I did holler out and tell Dixie and Cherelle to look at them go go go!

We all got a big scare about lap 35 -- Ryan Newman was battling Tony Stewart for the lead, with Sterling Marlin hanging back in 3rd. We're all thinking, these guys are going to have it out because Ryan didn't give Tony his lap back at Dover. Dick Berggren said they were on the radio telling Sterling to back off from these two, because they might still be mad. Just then, the engine blew in Ryan's Ford, resulting in a horrible fire under and inside the car -- we were totally terrified as Ryan's spotter skillfully guided him at more that 100 mph, engulfed in flames and thick black smoke, toward the nearest fire truck. Ryan jumped right out but seemed really shook up. Thank the Lord, he was fine. But after being "Flyin' Ryan" and now "Fryin' Ryan," we're sure Ryan would like for the rest of his season to be a tad less flaming.

In this week's "Beer Can Bash," we saw the #8 Budweiser car whip out some wicked moves to keep back the #40 Coors car. DW shouted that Dale Jr. "took the pop top off Sterling's car twice -- just slammed the door on him!"

HULKAMANIA'S RUNNING WILD!

It's been almost a full year since we first saw a movie trailer for the Incredible Hulk movie, so I feel like an era is passing, for it to finally open, you know. This week, Bobby Labonte (Y'all remember him? He's Wonny Labonte's big brother!) had a really hot Hulk paint scheme on his Interstate Battery car. And FOX did a clever bit where Bobby got angry and "morphed" into... his own crew chief, Michael "Fatback" McSwain! The makeup folks didn't really add any size to Fatback; they just painted him green! He was great jumping up and down on the car hood, too.

Another great Fatback moment came when he did this kind of horny elf victory dance Friday after Bobby ran the qualifying laps that put him on the pole for Sunday. Fatback was jumping and jooking, it was a sight to see!

(And what a day for Bobby: started on the pole; never led a lap; and finshed 2nd! Guess he just needed a couple of more laps...)

RIGHT PILE-UP, WRONG MONKEY!

A special welcome to everyone who's stopping by after reading the "Gaytona Speedway" article in the Advocate's Pride issue! It's been great to hear from so many NASCAR fans from all over!

"I had a good time when Christopher Tkaczyk interviewed me for the article. We talked a long time; at the end, he told me that he, like me, is an opera fan. He had recently fulfilled a dream by seeing Wagner's "Parsifal" at the Metropolitan Opera: He wanted to go so badly he bought standing room tickets and stood up for five and a half hours! So I knew that, at least, we shared a passion for strange entertainments!

This is cute, too: I returned the fact-checker's call while taking a "Park Ave. break" outside Epcot during our recent vacation! Truly, it seemed like the future had come to life!

If you haven't seen the article, try the link below.
Gaytona Speedway

If you get a chance, though, check out the paper copy -- it has my picture right between a picture of the #24 car and a picture of Jeff Gordon! Mercy!

Thanks for stopping by the trailer, racing buds 'n babes! Have a great week, and let's all get together for the Sonoma 350!