BREAKING NEWS! Mikey called down to Gaytona.com's Big Pink Trailer after weekend of showing out horribly!

Well, gay Nascar fans, I would be saying congratulations to our new points leader Michael Waltrip, but Mikey's being disciplined by www.Gaytona.com for behaving just dreadfully in Las Vegas!

First, in the Busch race happy hour practice, Mikey ran all up onto the #42 car of adorable Jamie McMurray, smashing Jamie into the wall, and catching his racecar on fire. Thank goodness both fellows are OK -- but if you visit Jamie's Web site, you can read his own account of it, and he ain't happy.

Well, maybe that was just sloppy racing -- or practicing, in this case -- but what could explain Mikey's shocking post-race interview? After finishing 3rd, Mikey -- who NEVER seems to say anything a sponsor is not paying for -- just gushed all over himself about how he loves the evil impostor President -- you know, the madman with more weapons of mass destruction than anyone???

Mikey: In case you haven't noticed, Bush has wrecked the economy so bad that Winston cannot even afford to do the No-Bull Five anymore, and is fixing to drop its racing sponsorship entirely! Did anyone among you, dear readers, ever think that anyone would wreck the economy so bad that a cigarette company could not afford to sponsor Nascar races? I mean, are we living in the jungle, or what??? And don't even get me started on this monstrous war -- Mikey, shut up, just shut UP!

As for DeVine 9¹/2 team members who were NOT wrecked out in fiery crashes by Mikey -- Gordon led lots of laps then got caught up in a wreck when Steve Park ran into Rusty Wallace, who just cannot catch a break. Dale Jr. led 98 laps, but Matt Kenseth was fast, fast fast!

Do y'all play "the numbers?" Honey, you know I do! Matt drives the #17, and he started 17th on Sunday, and he's won 7 Winston Cup races, and he never started better than 17th in any of them!

Oh! And there was a quite a tiff after the race was over when Sterling Marlin in the #40 spun out Jimmie Johnson in the #48. It knocked Jimmie out of the top ten, and he was clearly furious! One more note -- we loved it when the FOX broadcast notes said that Dale Jr.'s favorite recording artist is Ludacris! Holla at a playa, y'all!

Congratulations to our DeVine 91/2, who were in 4 of the top 5 spots! This week, we're looking forward to racing at Atlanta, the fastest track on the circuit!

Because Atlanta is my "home track," I'll be down at Georgia Power Qualifying Day on Friday with my gal pal Cherrelle of TV's "American Music Show," and we'd love it if y'all would stop around and say hey! We'll be sitting down near the big condo.

Welcome to Atlanta, race fans! See you at the track!